List of Critical Components for a Successful Submarine Movie

Mutany
Going "too deep" and risking "crush depth" limit
Russians
Authentication codes
Potential nuclear war
Alec Baldwin, Gene Hackman or Sean Connery
A dude in round-rim glasses
1 Annapolis grad and 1 salty old sea dog
Lettuce, tomato and onion

List of the Worst Ways to Spend Your Time

Playing Chubby Bunny
Violent prolonged transformative psychic episodes
Monetizing your blog
Disney sing-a-longs
Watching "Burn After Reading"
Coming in second
Organizing your decorative stone
Working on that time-machine
Running a contest no one participates in

Stunning Contest Rankings

One week in... here are the selections from last week, and the runs scored for each team:

Beltrans Knee – no selection
TK – Yankees, 39
Stunner – Brewers, 24
Raps – White Sox, 27
Bobby D. – Mets, 29
JR – Cubs, 30

ITS NOT TOO LATE TO GET YOUR TEAM IN. With the way the scoring is set up, people can enter later in the season, and still have a shot at winning. Review the rules here.

Remember: Entries must be made in the comments section each Monday BEFORE the first pitch of the day.

Standings:
Scoring: 3points for 1st place, 2 points for 2nd, 1 point for second to last
TK - 3 points
JR - 2
Bobby D. - 0
Raps - 0
Stunner - 0
Beltrans Knee - 0

List of Things You May Not Remember, About Vigo

Vigo was a sadistic tyrant of Carpathia (Romania)
Self-described as the “Scourge of Carpathia” and “the Sorrow of Moldavia”
Known Alias: “Vigo the Despised"
Not well-loved by his subjects
Expert in sorcery and black magic
Vigo enjoyed an unnaturally long life
Cause of death: he was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hanged, stretched, disemboweled, drawn and quartered by his own people.
Final quote from his dying severed head: "death is but a doorway; time is but a window – I’ll be back.”
Wanted to be an Oscar (Meyer Wiener)

New Stunning Contest!

New idea for you, the Loyal - a Stunning contest to be held each week.

Since I have given up on my beloved Mutts this year, I need another reason to watch ballgames. So starting today, I am initiating the Stunning Runs contest.

Each Monday, you select the team you think will have the most runs for the next 7 days (Monday-Sunday) - Points will be given, based on runs accumulated for your selected team.

Rules:
1. You can only select a team ONCE during the season. i.e. Once you use 'em, you cant use 'em again.
2. Scoring: 3points for 1st place, 2 points for 2nd, 1 point for second to last
3. Whoever comes in last each week, has their total points erased to zero
4. Entries must be made in the comments section each Monday BEFORE the first pitch of the day.
5. The MLB.com stats page will be used, for the official scoring.
6. In the event of a tie, I will arbitrarily decide the winner based on who I like more.
7. A team can be selected by more than one team, on any given week.

Winner gets a prize. Said prize is on my desk right now. I can't wait to put this prize in someones hands.

First selections due on Monday by 7pm EST

Bite me,
stunner

List of Awesome Toasts

"Here's to all the girls we've loved... but here's to those we haven't.", A. Green
"See you guys in the emergency room." C. Woeber
"Here's to getting pounded at an away game." B. Dunn
Multi-grain
"Here's to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won; here's to America's colors, the colors that never run." W. Chi
Response: "May the wings of liberty never lose a feather." J. Burton
Rye
"To OJ Simpson, who ran for just a shade under a billion yards." T. Kramer
"No horn blowing except for danger... hello, I'm danger" T. Beres
"Let's try and drink one of these broads pretty." #1 Stunner
"Welcome back, Stunner" - you


Feels good to be home.

List of Reasons Why I Returned to Work

No daytime friends, seriously
I riffled thru all five seasons of Desperate Housewives
I started siding with Whoopie, on The View
Obama has no intention of helping me
They don't give gun permits to the unemployed
I grew tired of cashing weekly unemployment checks
I didn't want to be the guy who turned down a job in January 2009

List of Problems With My Beard

People constantly think i live in Brooklyn
The sides...really are not growing in at all
Ex-cons give me a knowing glance because of my "Prison P"
Cowlicks
Discovering that i am apparently graying slightly
I'm beyond the faux-beard level, where I resemble Dr. House
Dad calls me a bum (although, this is not really a new phenomenon)
One word: Manscaping

List of Things We Learned From Movies

Women have biological clocks that tick.
A Sicilian can not refuse any request on his daughters wedding day
Corned Beef sandwiches lead to orgasms in females
Young boys from north England can become fantastic ballet dancers
Ed Burns sucks
If the entire stadium chants your name, you will make the big sack at the end of the game
Hal can't do that Dave
You're not done with the past, until the past is done with you
Gangs from Coney Island are the toughest
There can be only one
It's a trap

List of Movies, I am Still Awaiting Production Of

Thundercats
How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days Two
Confessions of a Zero-Worshiper
Pregnant Teen Wolf
Leonard: Part I, II, III, IV, and V
Un-Heroic: The Untold Story of the French During WWII
Websters Dictionary
Chronicles of Stunner