List of People I Can Fire

My maid, after I retrieve my keys
A taxi driver, after he drops me off
The pizza guy, once he gives me change of a $20
My dry cleaner, after picking up my shirts with un-removable ring around the collar.
The dudes at the carwash, after they towel off the WRX
The ski lift operator, after I fall during dismount
Eshwar

List of Signals that Spring Has Arrived

Took snowboard out of my trunk, replaced with golf clubs
The word, "April"
Discover new D-I colleges, I've never heard of before
Compulsion to clean apartment (no action taken)
Visit to Justin Coons
Noticeably more cheery, than had been in prior 3 months
Mysterious urge to buy a bike
Baseball puns on the back page of The Post
Misplaced my winter jacket - forced into 'light jacket' mode

List of Things You Can Buy for Two Dollars

Large green tea at Starbucks
2 copies of the New York Post on Sundays
A Powerbar
Bleacher seats at a Blue Jays game (Canadian dollars)
A news paper subscription in "Better Off Dead"
Toll passage over the Mid-Hudson Bridge
New watch battery
A top-five investment bank

List of Items on the Cafeteria Menu in the Movie Sixteen Candles

Stunning Readers, everyone of you probably knows about this already, but I was watching Sixteen Candles yesterday, and noticed something new. In the cafeteria lunch scene, there is a menu board, and the items for the day, are as follows:

bolognaloaf .80
cream of lunch soup .75
brisket of meat w/ sauce 1.05
meatball salad .80
senior burger & fries 1.00
chipped pork on bun .65
jumbo fishdog .75
cornaroni .65
gelatin balls .30
canned brownies in light syrup .50
vitamin cobbler free
iced tea .35
grape beverade .35
warm milk .02
have a nice day

note: I understand this is not the original Stunning content you come here for, but i thought you should be aware. If you are looking to get me to do any favors for you, please bring me some meatball salad, pronto.

List of Things Not to Attempt to Ask When in a Non English-Speaking Country

Why your bags are sitting on the luggage belt, when they should be making their way to the connecting flight
If you can have your appetizers be your entree, and you entree be your app.
What time your laundry will be ready for pick up, and if they would please separate lights and darks.
If it is legal to hug a penguin
Where the best place to buy a velvet vest, that goes with "these jeans", is
Does your cab driver have change of a button.
If your bartender has a sister