List of Reasons Why Grade School Was the Happiest Time of My Life

Capri Sun
Naps
Fire drills
"Picking teams"
Animals in the classroom
Bathroom passes
Carpet squares
I didn't know who Senator Shelby was
The Mets couldn't hurt me then

List of Things To Say Goodbye Too This Week

Yankee Stadium
Shea Stadium
Independent Investment Banks
Small government
Deregulation
Old World Order in the AFC East
The "Boys to Men" poster in your bedroom closet

List of New Villains

Brian Austin Green
Elitists
Oprah
Rob Johnson
People in My Chemical Romance shirts
A-Rod with RISP
Dudes who say 'sup bra' and mean it
People who trash talk Bud Light Lime (B-double-L)
Philadelphians

List of Things I Would Expect to See, If I Ever Moved Back in to My 2002 Apartment

Heather Ansorge
A thirty-five year-old
A random dancer from a Broadway show
The inside of Down the Hatch
Maker's Mark
A member of the Mudhens
The Deli Lama
Adam Gorfin
Candles in the bathtub
Decorative gravel
Dead goldfish outside who froze to death
An unstoppable weekly deliver of Girls Gone Wild DVDs
Clothing in the Kitchen
Assorted pizza topping containers from local pizza parlor
Fiddlesticks
Dinner and drinks sponsored by CIBC

Special thanks for TJB17

List of John Carpenter Movies That Shaped My Youth

Big Trouble in Little China
Starman
Escape from New York
Memoirs of an Invisible Man
They Live

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